Monday, November 9, 2009

Fuck this thing called life - it's heavy!





Sometimes we all feel like we carry the world on our shoulders (or a boob)
but when you realize

that your life is heavy enough, you are getting a head start out on happiness.


The last 12 months I've carried a lot of past decisions on my shoulders, some financial, some family and friends. I keep looking for a place to set things down sometimes, but cant seem to find a suitable place. At the risk of my health, at the risk of losing my family and friends, I look for my happiness. I found some of it on a personal level with my girl friend. She has given me hope. Lately though, the more I try to make situations of the past right the more I feel like I am losing the rest of my life. I feel like if I am not in the constant flex of being in their moment of help and not finding solutions to my well being, I am losing them. I know that sounds ridiculous, but then again so has been the past 38 years. Life for me is more complicated than a Rubik's Cube.

Just needing to say this out loud not to be confused with mean eddie g rantings or what not. I am looking for a spiritual kick to the head, some enlightenment. I need a new view, new perspective and new people in life, not that I want to lose the old ones, but life is feeling pretty stale. Need to shake it up a little!!

No comments: