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Now i know why u like winter lol

~Janna Marie~

Fuck this thing called life - it's heavy!

Sometimes we all feel like we carry the world on our shoulders (or a boob)
but when you realize

that your life is heavy enough, you are getting a head start out on happiness.


The last 12 months I've carried a lot of past decisions on my shoulders, some financial, some family and friends. I keep looking for a place to set things down sometimes, but cant seem to find a suitable place. At the risk of my health, at the risk of losing my family and friends, I look for my happiness. I found some of it on a personal level with my girl friend. She has given me hope. Lately though, the more I try to make situations of the past right the more I feel like I am losing the rest of my life. I feel like if I am not in the constant flex of being in their moment of help and not finding solutions to my well being, I am losing them. I know that sounds ridiculous, but then again so has been the past 38 years. Life for me is more complicated than a Rubik's Cube.

Just needing to say this out loud not to be confused with mean eddie g rantings or what not. I am looking for a spiritual kick to the head, some enlightenment. I need a new view, new perspective and new people in life, not that I want to lose the old ones, but life is feeling pretty stale. Need to shake it up a little!!

Technology my New Drug of Choice

DAMN YOU Apple
DAMN YOU DROID
DAMN YOU all sleek devices.

Why must you make me lust after you so. Why do you taunt me with your your words your demon messengers like Boy Genius Report, Engadget Mobile, Tech Crunch, Gizmodo, even Phone Dog. I follow when I should percieve, I lust what I should not spend.

You have control over my mind, oh the blaspemy of it all. I rant at your shiny new goodness. The productivity and the wastefulness of a good time, my social outlet, my cry into space.

DAMN YOU!!!

I wanna travel - but I am poor right now *DAMN*

There are so many good deals right now. everyone I know went to Europe this year except for me becuase well..I suck right now. Just saw on Travelzoo a 7 night air hotel package for $479 in Barbados per person! Who cares what the accomadations are, for that price you cant beat it. Damn You Economy!!!!

Ever Wonder...

Sometimes I just wonder and wonder, other times I get motivated and get shit done. I can't tell which one I am in: Limbo or Purgatory? Just want what I want, just once, thats all I am asking, Thank You!

Now a word from our sponsor:

I am no Longer Eddie, I am DutchKeeper!

I didn't have a clue where I was going or how I was going to start to make a difference, for myself. Then one day I am bumbling on the Internet and I run across you. I was intrigued, curious, wanting to know more. I sent a couple of messages, interjected myself into your life hoping for a sign, a response. Lo and behold my wish was granted we started chatting, then talking, then we moved into really getting to be interested phase, wanting to know each other and in doing so this connection happened, I felt a bond so strong and unbreakable, it was kinda of scary.

Getting to know you I fell hard and in Love but how could I say anything I was afraid to scare you off. I finally took a chance, and I found out you felt the same. Ever since then the strength of our love has grown stronger, renewed everyday, emotional highs and lows, learning to understand how it is I feel and trying to convey thought feelings into words that keep us strong. We have a distance between us only in miles, but you are closer to my heart than any love I have felt, the words you say the things you do, the gestures that play out you bring me closer to understanding what happiness is for me, not like how people or things make us have a reaction, I am talking about a state of being. The miles between us never change, but we are working, prepping and making sure when we leap we will catch each other in our arms and never let go.

I opened a door to my heart and you raced in, your very being has invaded my soul, my thoughts, my feelings, they take me over and I am only who I am because you are in me. I no longer am in control of myself but rather you are in control of me as everything you do makes an effort and changes me, it determines my actions even when you are not around. When I say I Love You, it makes my whole body tingle, I just need to say thanks. Whatever happened to you in your past, good or bad I am happy God has guided you to a place where I could find you and I am happy you have trusted me, respected me, and loved me in ways that were right for me.

Promises are made to be kept and to be broken: I make one promise and I am pretty sure it will keep with the Grace of God and that is I will always try. I am big on Hope! It does a lot of things in a lot of different ways.

I Love You Dutch! I know with God's Help we will be together always soon, I believe we are meant to be together for a long time, no one thing can define it, except the feeling that burns in my soul that I want you. The days are harder and longer knowing your coming sometime, not knowing when is a good thing because the countdown would be unbearable, just knowing it will be is enough. I know you think sometimes Love is not enough and feelings of negativity creep in, but I believe Love can conquer all. If you don't know I will show you how, just take my hand and I'll lead the way.

You are my Love, my everything, and my ALL! I just need to pour out my Love to you, I want to cloak you in it. I want you to Love me, trust me, respect me, and I want to earn all of those from you. We are a light who's Love can not be extinguished!

I kneel before you, taking your hand, Looking into your eyes...

I Love You!!!

Your my #1 Girl Forever!

Ed McMahon R.I.P.

Another Icon taken away this year. He will be missed by many.

Kobe and Phil Bring it home!

Congratulations on your 15th Championship!!!

Thanks for all your effortss!!!

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